Broken
by Vlad-the-Impish
Summary: When deception and betrayal is rolled up into a small bloody package, a man’s sanity is put through the ringer. FINISHED.
1. Chapter 1

Broken 

The first thing that he noticed when he descended the stairs to the basement was the smell. It was a pungent aroma that was as recognisable to him as it would be to anyone else in his line of work. It was the smell of death.

His eyes hadn't yet adjusted to the darkness yet but his hearing had no such trouble. The sounds of scurrying rats pierced the silence of the room, as well as the sounds of flesh being gnawed upon at the opposite side of the basement.

As his eyes become more accustomed, the only light available is from the doorway at the top of the stairs, he begins to make out the small outlines of the rats that reside within, the small furry creatures appearing to be in constant movement as if afraid to be still for more than a moment.

He can also make out another outline, the outline that brought him to this deserted house. It was an outline that he had to see in more detail and yet he would like nothing more than pretend it didn't exist.

As he gets closer and the outline becomes clearer, he can no longer stand the assault to his senses and rushes to the corner of the room, emptying the contents of his stomach onto the basement floor.

After collecting himself and wiping his mouth with the back of his right hand, he turns once more to face the outline, now recognisable to him as a body. He moves forward with determination, knowing that if he falters even once more he would turn an runs away, never to return and never to be found.

The body was human, anything demon would have left nothing more than dust or residue. He can also tell it was female going by the size of the body and the clothing she was wearing.

He ignores his gagging reflex as the face becomes more visible to him as he approaches, the vermin had been feasting upon the body for some time and made her a truly revolting sight to behold. He can tell their hair was light in colour but nothing more; the light levels not enough to distinguish anything else.

As he moves slightly to his right, what little light there was reflects off something around her wrist. As he moves closer to inspect the object he has to hold back a sob when he recognises the object; a bracelet that he hadn't seen in years.

Not wanting to believe his own eyes, but needing to know nonetheless, he removes the bracelet with great care, as though the body was nothing more than asleep and he didn't wish to disturb them. He takes a step or two back, closer to the source of illumination as he turns the bracelet over. To his horror, on the back of the bracelet is an inscription, one that he himself had placed there. His eyes are filled with tears but he doesn't need to see to know what it says; 'Love Always'.

A noise behind him causes him to spin round and locate the source. At the top of the stairs is his oldest friend, the light behind her causing her hair to appear to him like a flaming halo. She takes a step, her intentions clear, but he stops her with a gesture and a single word filled with emotion, "don't."

She says nothing in reply but adheres to his wish and stops her descent. She notices a thin metal chain just above her right shoulder and, on a hunch, pulls it and the basement is suddenly bathed in light.

Her strangled cry tears at his soul, as he knows she can now see the body of their friend in full Technicolor. He watches helplessly as her knees give way and she begins to fall down the stairs, unable to move from his position.

In a flash, her girlfriend is there, supporting her both physically and emotionally as she cries her heart out onto her shoulder. She too is horrified by the sight before her, but she puts her feelings aside in favour of helping her love, knowing that she'll be that way for some time to come.

She locks eyes with him, silently communicating as neither trust their voices at that point. He nods his head slightly in answer to her question then gestures that she take her girlfriend out of the basement. She nods in acceptance and gathers her love in her arms before turning round and leaving.

While he wants nothing more than to follow them, he forces himself to turn round. His eyes betray him and gaze upon the mutilated corpse that was once one of God's most beautiful creatures. He forces himself to look up, as he knows he would be unable to do so if he waited any longer.

What he sees causes him to physically shake with anger, a maelstrom of emotions coursing through his veins. On the wall is a message, written in his departed friend's blood and meant for him; 'X, B was the appetiser; you're the main course. See you soon lover, F.'


	2. Chapter 2

Two Weeks Later 

Buffy's funeral was a couple of days ago. As per her wish, Buffy was cremated and her ashes scattered to the seven winds, ensuring that she could never return. She wanted to ensure that three times was her charm, although he knew she felt it was already two times too many. He only hoped she's in the same place she was the last time she died, it's the least she deserved after everything she went through.

From what he heard it was a bright, sunny morning, right up to the moment the service started, then it started raining until the last person left the church. He didn't go, couldn't go, not again.

Apart from going to get groceries, he hasn't left the house since he came back that night. Giles had come over a couple of times to see how he was doing, doing his 'stiff upper lip' routine. He could see right through that mask as easily as he can see through glass, to reveal the grieving father behind. He said nothing, allowing the man to grieve in his own way, just as he grieved in his. They talked about anything and everything, all except the two things they needed to talk about. Neither wanted to start and even if they did, they didn't know how. They both knew they couldn't put it off forever, but it was just too raw to touch at the moment.

Willow came to se him as well, as much to receive comfort, as it was to offer it. They cried on each other's shoulders for hours, grieving not only for Buffy, but for all the people they have lost over the years; so many, too many, but they know it could easily be so many more.

Dawn has kept away; nothing has been said but he knows that she holds him at least partially responsible for what happened. She's not the only one, he does as well. He failed her and it cost her life. Willow said she was keeping a close eye on her, as was Giles, so he knew she was going to be okay. It just hurts that he can't help her, especially as he was normally her first port of call.

He hasn't even touched the surface of his grief yet, not only because he can't but because he won't allow himself to truly grieve until it's over. To give in to his grief now would only leave him vulnerable, that's why she did it. He won't make killing him that easy for her; she'll have to work for it.

Sitting alone at the dining table of his house, he would like nothing more than to have the, sometimes annoying, sounds that had filled his home only a fortnight ago. The sound of his wife singing along to the radio, even when she didn't know the words. The sound of her chatting animatedly on the phone to her friends and family. Instead the only noise to be heard is his breathing. Years ago he told someone that he liked the quiet, now he can't stand it. He knows that he could simply banish the silence by turning on the TV or radio, but he doesn't, feeling like he deserves the pain he's feeling.

In front of him are several large photo albums, detailing the last five years of his life and in his opinion the best five years of his life. Every birthday, every Christmas, every anniversary immortalised in 5" X 9" print.

One photo album stands out from the rest, bound in white leather with gold writing adorning the front. Whenever he would see that album he would smile as it represented the happiest day of his life. The day they became husband and wife.

Even without the album he can remember every second, every detail of that day. It was to him simply perfect; the sun had shone a little brighter that day, the birds had sung a song just for them and there hadn't been cloud in the sky.

Everyone important to him had turned up and expressed how happy they were for him, for the both of them. For one day, all mistakes had been forgiven and all problems had been forgotten, allowing them to enjoy the day without incident.

He opens the album to one particular photo from memory, taken moments after the ceremony had ended. He looks at himself in the photo and cannot remember a time where he had looked so happy, so at peace.

While he tries not to, his gaze wanders from his younger self to that of his bride. Her eyes, shining with happiness and filled with her love for him. Her smile, beaming brighter than the brightest star and warmer than an open fire on a winter evening. Her dress, as pure as driven snow and flowing like a river in springtime. It is a picture of his love, his wife, and his life. Even now five years on, the first thing that enters his mind whenever he sees that photo is that she looks like an angel. He called her his morning star, she never liked pet names before but she told him she loved that one, it felt right is what she said.

He inspects it like a detective looking at a piece of evidence. He scrutinizes every millimetre as if looking for something that he didn't know was there before. That there was some deep dark secret hidden within.

He picks up the album and throws it across the room, the album making a dent in the far wall as it impacts against it. As it lands the album closes, once again revealing the gold embossed cover; Commemorating The Marriage Between Alexander Lavelle Harris And Faith Lehane.


	3. Chapter 3

Broken 3 

She's sitting alone in her living room, staring at the TV even though it's not turned on. Every now and then her eyes would flick to the picture sitting on the shelf above the TV, one that had until recently always brought a small smile to her face.

She remembers the day it was taken two years ago; Buffy was on a vacation from Rome and she, Xander and herself had gone out for a picnic in the park. Faith was in Moscow on assignment so she couldn't go with them and they had all felt disappointed, but didn't let it spoil the mood.

It had been the first time that they had been in the same place at the same time for more than a few hours in years; in fact the last time had been together for more than a day was when they had all relocated to Cleveland after they had dealt with the First. Not long after that they had all gone their separate ways, all needed in different parts of the world.

They had talked and generally enjoyed each other's company, it had felt like old times when they all still lived in Sunnydale and only lived a few minutes away from each other. When someone from Xander's construction company walked past, he had asked him to take a photo of the three of them. Xander was in the middle, Buffy to his right and she was on his left. She hadn't seen a smile so bright or so wide on her sister's face in years and she had always turned to that photo when she had been feeling down as it always had a way of making her feel better.

The only problem was that she knew that a photo was the only place she'd ever see that smile again, at least until she joined her sister and mother in heaven. She knew that it would be a long time until she saw the smile that Xander had in the photo as well, but she hoped that it wouldn't be long.

She had been putting off going to see Xander for several reasons, but mainly because she just didn't know what to say to him. She knew that she was part of the reason he didn't go to the service, fearing what she might say. Then there was the fact that he's the only person that has seen her lifeless body on all three occasions, and that he barely got through her funeral the last time.

She hadn't been part of the search for her sister so she didn't see her, but the haunted look on Willow's face as she came over and told her they found her body made her thankful that she didn't.

There was a small, very small, part of her that blamed him for what happened, and she was afraid that she would shout and scream at him if she saw him. She knew that he'd expect it; he no doubt blames himself anyway and feels that he deserves it. She knows in her heart of hearts that he's blameless, he had no way of knowing how things were going to turn out. The only person to blame was Faith.

She had been the most vocal about not trusting Faith after they dealt with the First, stating firmly that she needed to go back to prison. She didn't go back and soon became a trusted member of the team, but she still had held steadfast that she wasn't to be trusted. It had taken her a long time, but she came round just like everyone else had, and was even a bridesmaid at her and Xander's wedding. They all thought Faith had changed; there had been no signs, no indication that Faith had gone rogue once more, not until that horrendous night.

She knew that Faith was going to go after Xander next, and was petrified that she would lose him as well. She knew that he wouldn't go without a fight, but he would be aiming to take her with him, not to escape. She needs to give him a reason to keep going, something to keep him with her, with them all.

A scream brings her out of her thoughts and she speeds her way upstairs and into the guest bedroom. Turning on the light, the little eight-year-old girl that was sleeping there was tossing and turning in her bed, tears streaming down her cheeks and screaming at the top of her lungs even though she's obviously still asleep.

She goes over to her slowly, knowing that waking her suddenly from such a nightmare would only cause her more stress. She slowly starts stroking her hair while making soft, soothing sounds in her ear. It takes a while, but the girl starts to calm down and a few minutes later she slowly opens her eyes, squinting to get used to the brightness of the room.

"Mommy?" the little girl mumbled sleepily.

Hearing the hope in the little girls voice causes more tears to appear in her eyes. She can't bear to answer the question, so she asks one of her own.

"Lexie, are you alright?"

She knew that the question was stupid the moment it left her lips, but that was all she could think to say.

"I had a bad dream. Mommy always chases the bad dreams away; she says it's her job. I want my Mommy," she sobbed.

Seeing the look that her niece was sending her shattered her already broken heart once again. She had a pout that made her look so much like her mother, combined with those chocolate brown eyes that were just filled with sorrow, a look she inherited from her father. She gathers the child up in her arms and gently rocks back and forth while gently rubbing her back. "I know you do baby, I want your Mommy here too."

They stay that way for a while, Lexie crying softly in her aunt's arms. After about half an hour, a clearly tired Lexie looks up ate her aunt.

"Will you stay with me tonight?" she asks hopefully.

"Of course I will." She replies, kissing her forehead.

"Thanks Auntie Dawn," she said before drifting off to sleep once more.

She gently puts Lexie back under the covers and gets in beside her, Lexie holding on to her like she was the only thing keeping her alive. That's probably not too far from the truth; Buffy had proven that Summers women made great mother's and their bond had been as strong, maybe even stronger, than hers and Buffy's had been to their own mother.

She would be here for Lexie for as long she needed her, but she knew that there was only one person that would be able to help her get over what has happened. She needs her father, the only person who could make her mother smile no matter the circumstances, but she doesn't even know who he is. Maybe it's time she found out.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Sorry if the repetition annoys, but I like it.

Broken 4 

I'm a father.

That's the only coherent thought going through his mind at the moment as he gazes at the sleeping form of his daughter. Looking at her brings peace to his heart, something that had been sorely missing lately, and something he thought he'd never feel again.

I'm a father.

Alexandra Joyce Summers, 'Lexie' for short. A beautiful name for an even more beautiful girl. She is the spitting image for her mother, all apart from her eyes. No one could doubt that she is his daughter because she definitely has his chocolate brown eyes, well eye.

I'm a father.

When Dawn had called and asked him to go over, he had been reluctant to agree as he was still worried about the reception he would receive. He did agree, never having been able to refuse a request form one of 'his girls', and when she had opened the door to him she had pulled him into a bone crushing hug that he more than willingly reciprocated.

I'm a father.

They'd stayed that way for what seemed like hours, but was no more than a few minutes, before Dawn broke the embrace and lead him inside to the living room. That was when he first saw her, lying on the floor a few feet from the TV, transfixed as she watched Tom try to catch Jerry with her head tilted slightly to the left and a small smile on her lips.

I'm a father.

He knew that she was Buffy's daughter the moment he laid eyes on her, it was simply impossible not to. That was when the shock set in; he was shocked that she had a daughter, shocked that she had a daughter old enough to attend kindergarten, and shocked that she had never told him. It hurt that someone he had known half his life would keep something like this from him and for a moment he hated her for it, only to feel overwhelming guilt at the thought.

I'm a father.

They'd both had been staring at her for a minute or so before she realised it. When she'd turned round to see whom Auntie Dawn let in, his knees almost gave way when he saw her eyes. Turning his attention to Dawn, who answered his unasked question with a nod, she introduced him to his daughter. Tears were streaming down his face but for the first time in weeks it wasn't because he was sad. These were tears of joy.

I'm a father.

That first night after the collapse of Sunnydale, he and Buffy had been paired up to share a room at the motel they stopped at. What had started off as a comforting embrace after a heart to heart ended with them sleeping together. The same thing happened every night until they reached Cleveland. Once they reached their destination, they talked about what they were doing and decided that, while they were feeling an attraction towards one another, neither one was ready for another relationship. The friendship they already had was too precious to risk while they weren't capable of giving 100 to anything more than that.

I'm a father.

After a lot of discussion between those that had survived the battle, they had all decided to reform the Council and had gone their separate ways a few weeks later, each taking a different part of the world to start searching for newly called Slayers. They barely saw each other at all for the next year or so, only communicating via phone or e-mail. The next time he and Buffy did see each other, he was going out with Faith so they never talked about what happened. Now it was too late.

I'm a father.

He spent the next few hours getting to know his daughter, revelling in the feeling of warmth he got from the revelation the he was a father. Dawn couldn't stop laughing for ten minutes when she asked him if he was related to Popeye. When it was time for Lexie to go to bed, he helped where he could and both he and Dawn watched her as she drifted off to the land of slumber. He had considered asking Dawn why Buffy never told him about her but decided against it, only Buffy could explain it fully and he's prepared to wait until she can tell him, however long that may be.

I'm a father.

The first time he realized that he was now a father, was also the time he realized why Faith had snapped. A couple of years ago, he had asked her what her thoughts were concerning having kids one day. Her answer wasn't something he had expected; she started crying. He could count the number of times he had seen Faith cry on one hand with enough left over to flip someone the bird and hitchhike to Hell. It took a lot to make faith cry and so he knew that it was serious. It turned out that Faith can't have children; when she was fourteen, a boyfriend of her mother had raped her, causing so much damage that the doctor in the hospital she went to told her that she would never be able to conceive.

I'm a father.

It took him a long time to assure her that he was perfectly happy to never have children; the First Slayer had told him he would be the last of the line years ago and he had come to terms with that long before they had started going out. They had considered adoption but decided against it; they were certain that they would be great parents, but they knew that there wouldn't be an adoption agency on the planet that would consider them, given the lifestyle that they lead. They could have always changed their minds later in life, but they were happy the way they were.

I'm a father.

He and Dawn had talked for a while after Lexie had drifted off. Dawn had told him that Buffy brought Lexie with her to Cleveland this time because she wanted him to get to know his daughter and to apologise for never telling him of her existence before. He could tell she expected him to ask why she hadn't before but he kept quiet, simply nodding in acknowledgement as his thoughts drifted somewhere else.

I'm a father.

Faith must have seen Buffy and Lexie together and figured out that she was his daughter. There was one thing that no one could ever stop Faith from doing and that was comparing herself to Buffy. She wanted to prove that she could do anything that Buffy could and have anything that Buffy had. To find out that Buffy had been able to give him the one thing that she never could would have driven her insane.

I'm a father.

He didn't know why she hadn't said anything to him; maybe she thought he would leave her for Buffy if he knew, maybe she thought that he already knew about Lexie and kept it from her. It didn't really matter now in the grand scheme of things. She hadn't come and talked or screamed at him about it, instead she had abducted, tortured and eventually killed the mother of his child and that was something she could never take back and something he could never forgive, or forget.

I'm a father.

Now that he had seen his daughter, he knew that Faith would be coming for him. While he was in no hurry to die, he had been wondering why she hadn't tried to kill him yet and now he knew. Whether she believed he knew of Lexie's existence or not, she would want him to see her once before killing him, that way he'd know what he'd be leaving behind. Now he knows he doesn't want to leave, but doesn't know if he has a choice in the matter.

I'm a father.


	5. Chapter 5

Broken 5 

He knows she's here; her ability to hide in shadows that was taught to her by Angel may work on everyone else but never with him. His instincts have been honed the past fifteen years, but they aren't what make him able to sense her, it was something else, something deeper. It was love and it hurt to feel it.

He's been able to shy away from his feelings for her until now, allowing the anger he felt towards her to overshadow everything else. Now that she's here, the anger isn't enough to hide the love that he still feels for her.

She's moving stealthily along the rooftop, making her to their bedroom balcony. She knows it's pointless trying to enter unnoticed, she can sense him as well as he can sense her, but it isn't about catching him by surprise. She had to give him a fighting chance; she would not, could not do it any other way. She owes him that much at least.

He knew he had no chance against her; she was after all a Slayer. He was known as one of the most dangerous men in the world but he could easily have his ass handed to him by any of the hundreds of Slayers that worked for the Council and they would barely work up a sweat. He knew that his only chance was to cheat.

He had set charges within every wall of the house, turning it into one large incendiary device, with the intention of blowing her up like they had done her former boss. It had felt fitting at the time, to end her life in such a way, but now he was unsure whether he would, or could, go through with it.

As she walks across the floor of their bedroom, a room filled with so many warm memories for her, she hesitates. She wanted to leave; she wanted to turn around and to leave him and everything else behind. She doesn't though; she knows that it's too late for that. She's come too far, done too much to turn back now. She had known that the moment she saw the last vestiges of life leave Buffy's eyes.

She had been so angry then, completely controlled by it. The realisation they had a child together, the one thing that she could never give him, had released something within her that she had successfully bottled up years ago. She had revelled in the pain and anguish she had inflicted upon her Sister Slayer; taking her to the brink of death only to pull her back again and again until she had finally ended it.

The last thing on Buffy's lips had been her daughter's name, spoken so softly that she had barely been able to hear it even with her enhanced senses.

It was the morning after that she had truly understood what she had done. She had cried for hours, the realisation that she had killed, murdered someone she considered a sister bearing down on her with such force that she had been unable to breathe.

She had felt righteous in her anger, she had felt that justice had been served, but those feelings had been replaced with guilt and remorse. Instead of confronting them with what she knew, she had allowed her feelings to colour her actions and now everything she had achieved the last eight years was meaningless.

Now all she feels is revulsion about what she did, wanting nothing more than to take back every harsh word, ever kick, and every punch she had inflicted on her sister Slayer. She did the one thing that she could never redeem for and the ony way she could see was forward.

Not knowing when she would make her move had been torturous, knowing she was now here was even worse. Even with everything that has happened he had hoped that it wouldn't come to this. He had hoped that she would simply vanish off the face of the earth, leaving no trace and never to return.

He has tried to stop loving her, to stop missing the feel of her skin or the scent of her hair, but he can't. She is his wife and he loves her in spite of everything that she has done. He hates her more than he thought he could hate anyone, but he loves her just as much and knowing that makes him die a little inside.

He can hear her making her way to the stairs. Fourteen steps were all that kept them apart physically, but there was so much more that kept them apart emotionally. He loves her and doubts that will change, but he knows that this will be the last time they see each other no matter what happens.

She's close enough now to hear his breathing, a sound that before had always calmed her. Whenever she woke up from a bad dream, she would rest her head on his chest and combination of his regular breathing and heartbeat would soon lull her back to sleep. She'd barely slept at all the last few weeks because of what she'd done, knowing she'd never have that help made it worse.

As she slowly descends the staircase, she fights back tears because she knows that this will be the last time she will ever be in this house. Their house. It truly was their house; they had practically rebuilt the place one room at a time. A piece of both of them went in to every room and made it as though no one had ever lived in it before.

Xander and Faith look at each other, neither one knowing what to say or do but both knowing what they need to do. It's as though they're reliving their relationship within each other's eyes; every look, every smile, and every kiss they ever shared the last eight years. Both know they can't go back to the way they were and they realise that the only way to fix things is for one of them to not see tomorrow.

Xander holds up his right hand and Faith can see a small black device held within. Her eyes widen slightly as she realizes what it is and what Xander intends to do. She isn't all that surprised as she knows how Xander operates, but her heart breaks that she has forced him to be that way towards her.

"I need to let you know something, and I hope that you believe me; I never knew about Lexie until yesterday when Dawn introduced me. I have never kept anything from you Faith; I've told you things that not even Willow knows. I never knew, I promise you that."

She can see the absolute sincerity in his eye and knows that he is telling her the truth, something she should have known from the very beginning. She should have gone to him, had it out with him. Instead of acting like the woman she was, she reverted back to the girl she was when she first arrived in Sunnydale.

"I believe you Xand. The only thing I have ever been 100 certain of was that you loved and respected me, but when I saw mini B I freaked, thinking that you'd been lying to me the whole time. Well… you know what I did next, something that I would take back if I could, but I know I can never take back what I've done, anymore than we can go back to what we were before. There's only one thing I can do now to put things right." She holds out her hand, silently requesting he give her the device. "Go see your daughter Xand."

Xander has barely been able to breathe since Faith came into view, his need to avenge Buffy's life warring with the love he has for his wife. He's tried to push the button a dozen times since then and each time he's been unable to do it. When he realises what Faith is offering his eye widens in shock. "I can't let you do this Faith."

"It's the only way and you know it; I can't come back to the fold, not after this. If I run they'll come after me with everything they have and I'll have to do things I really don't want to just to survive. I want it to end, right here and now for both of us. Please, I just want it to end."

Xander can see that Faith is trying hard not to dry, as much for his sake as for her own. She knows that he can't bear to see her cry and would gather her up in his arms and try to make it better, but this time they both know that won't happen. Only the Creator could make this situation better and they doubt that He/She will help. The only thing he can do is give Faith her final request.

"I love you Faith," he says with as much feeling as he could muster.

"I love you too Xander, now and forever. Go to your daughter Xand, be the father I know you can be."

Xander says nothing; he simply gets up from his chair and after handing over the device kisses Faith softly on the lips. They rest their foreheads on each other for a moment, never breaking eye contact, before Xander walks past her and towards the front door. Just before he goes through, he stops and turns to face her.

"You'll always be my morning star."

Faith hears him close the front door behind him, get into his car and pull away from the drive. A single tear falls down her cheek and she has a small, watery smile on her face as she looks at the small device in her hand.

"Goodbye Xand." She presses the button on the device.

The End

A/N: Like it or hate it, this is the end of the story. This was only ever meant to be a one-shot anyway so this has been a 'shoot from the hip' thing on my part. I do want to thank everyone who read and reviewed this story, I really appreciate it.


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